Whether you’re someone who has a type, believes in the “type“, or you think your love life doesn’t revolve around a specific type – who you attract, and the types of people you are attracted to may be set to repeat.
You may not even realize it.
Your type isn’t just physical attributes. It can be their work ethics, motivation, short term or long term goals in life, attitude, dating behavior and moral, personality traits and simple morals and values in life.
Do you tend to date those who can’t keep a steady job under their belt? Can he barely maintain enough money in his bank account to pay the bills? Does he have an off-putting and selfish attitude towards you and generally to others? Does has trouble maintaining friendships and external relationships with family? Maybe he has little interests or hobbies, or has no motivation for self improvement?
If there is a pattern in your dating scene, it might be time to reevaluate the types of guys your dating, and realizing that your “type” might simply be the wrong guy for you.
7 SIGNS YOUR TYPE IS
THE WRONG GUY FOR YOU – PERIOD
EVERY RELATIONSHIP ENDS ON BAD TERMS
As far as what defines a “successful” end to a relationship, if you gain more than lose or see a breakup as a lesson learned then you’re already better off than most. Most don’t think of any end to a relationship as being “successful” to begin with. If you’re constantly battling anger, resentment or pain from your previous relationships – that isn’t necessarily good traction for your future ones.
I’m talking about from the cheater, the narcissist, the pathological liar, the abuser, the manipulator, the baggage carrier, the serial dater, the lazy leeches, the double standard, the “victimizer”, the buzzards, ghosts, sleazes and snakes that can slither into your life as quickly as they can slither out of it.
If you’re left with a deep, scabby, crusted emotional, or physical wound after nearly every relationship – a clear change in more than just your type needs to be made.
WELL, YOU’RE STILL SINGLE AND DESPERATELY LOOKING
Maybe you’re in and out of relationships – quickly. Maybe you find your type, your prince charming, but it just never goes anywhere – or far enough to where you want it to. Maybe you’re dating too many at once, or back to back. Maybe you have lost touch to the real reason you are dating, because you’re too focused on simply finding someone, anyone, to date. Maybe it’s as the saying goes, “Same ole’ sh**, same type of guy“.
Hey, you keep on keeping’ on standards wise, but if you are putting your love life in overdrive then you’re guaranteed to run your motivation completely dry. In turn this can provoke you into lowering your standards – and that’s the last thing you need to do.
YOUR DATES NEVER TURN INTO ACTUAL RELATIONSHIPS OR LONG-TERM COMMITMENTS
By relationships, I mean exclusivity – defining your status as a monogamous couple – as well as making one another’s time, well being and happiness a priority. By long-term, I mean hitting the yearly mark. Long enough to actually have made it through some impacting milestones together.
If you’re constantly dealing with the guy who flakes after Date #3, or finds every excuse in this world to “keep things easy and sleazy“, identify their similar attributes and steer clear of them from the beginning.
YOU NEVER FEEL SECURE WITHIN THE RELATIONSHIP
The constant worry of breaking up, being ghosted, competing against other women, or that he will lose interest are NOT the qualities of a healthy relationship. This could be caused by current behaviors in the relationship, or from previous failed relationships from similar results in your past.
Either way, there’s no foundation for a healthy relationship if you’re always left fearing the worst outcome, constantly needing validation or reassurance of his feelings, or entering the relationship with doubt.
YOU’RE ALWAYS LEFT DISSATISFIED
As backwards as this may sound – I see this one far too often. Those who have a blatant, distinct, concrete type – find it, just to then turn around X days/months later claiming “I wasted my time“, “he wasn’t this, or that“, or “he wasn’t who I thought he was“.
Yet, that’s their type they continuously go for.
After enough dissatisfaction, it should be a clue to put on the brakes, and figure out what it is about your type that leaves you so frequently unhappy.
HE DOESN’T BRING OUT THE BEST IN YOU
This shouldn’t be difficult to understand, nor should it be something to ignore early on in dating. This is something you hear rather frequently in happy couples: “He just makes me a better person – he inspires me to do so much more than what I think I’m capable of – he makes me want to be everything in this world for him.”
Otherwise, it can feel like there is something missing. And most of the time it has to do with what you are simply not getting out of the relationship – something out of your own control. The point of every healthy relationship is that it should make a positive impact on your life – for the better, not the worst.
If not, start questioning whether it’s the right relationship for you.
Because every person with a type, has a compartment stashed away with all of the “too nice” guys.
For anyone who has used the “nice guy” or “too nice to date“, you likely friend-zoned this person from the get-go. What you’re basically implying is: you’re the opposite of what I go for – I can’t stretch my preferences that thin – and I just can’t open myself that far out of my comfort zone.
And if not that, then: You’re not enough of a challenge for me (you’re “boring”, for lack of better words) – I like being emotionally tongue-tied. Dating you would just be taking the easy way out.
That is how we have derived “the type“.
Granted, it has much to do with our initial “laws of attraction” since we tend to focus on the physical aspects first. If those are not met initially – based on our “type” – we are more than likely going to write them off. The same goes for the “nice guys” – they fit too close into the comfort zone.
So if you find yourself repeatedly saying, or thinking, “He’s too nice to date” – what you’re literally saying is, “Granted, he would probably give me the world (that’s nice and all), but I’m used to getting hurt and I prefer to stick with what I already know and what I am familiar with.” It’s time to understand that it’s the nice guys are the ones you will be starving for when you realize your type is simply the wrong guy for you.