We often look at marriage as the culmination of a relationship, the final destination for two people in a relationship. All the movies, sitcoms end with the promise that the young couple will finally be together forever, bound by the holy vows of matrimony. It is often portrayed as the happily-ever-after, that all couples who are suffering at the hands of Cupid, should aspire for.
Marriage, matrimony or wedlock, call it what you will, but one thing is for sure – it’s not a matter that can be taken lightly. And this is the part that is mostly left out of these romcoms and Mills and Boons. Marriages are work, in fact, quite a bit of hard work. Whoever told you that good marriages are organic and happen on their own, must’ve been quite confused.
Two people, who have been brought up in two different circumstances and different environment, can’t achieve this idealized state of harmony without making some efforts to do so.
In case the couple in question refuses to make these efforts, they often end up with irreconcilable differences. And then there is no option left but to seek a divorce. But what are these problems that need dedicated efforts from the couple? Curious to know more about them? Read on.
1. The Urge To Change Your Partner
It’s a common urge – the urge to create your own version of your partner by molding them according to your likes and dislikes. And, it is also one that you should not give in to if you want to see your conjugal relationship thrive. You fell in love with them for who they are, right? Why would you go back on that?
Accept your partner for who they are. That will take you closer to the ideal state of marital bliss.
2. Admitting Your Own Fault
No one likes to be told that they are wrong. But if there are constant frictions and arguments in a marriage, so much so that the couple often experiences a déjà vu, while having arguments. Then they should try to get to the bottom of the matter and find out what they’re doing to elicit that response from their partner. Remember, it takes two to tango. So, they should own up to the part of the problem that is their doing and work to improve the situation.
3. Parenthood Overpowering Other Aspects Of Life
Parenthood marks a new phase of life, for both the father as well as the mother. In the face of constant exhaustion, myriad responsibilities, new parents often forget that they have to set aside some couple-time for themselves. This often puts undue pressure on their relationship. If not monitored and dealt with in time, it can create a lot of distance in a marriage.
4. Lack Of Appreciation For Your Partner
Again a pretty common occurrence. Also known as taking your partner for granted, this problem can set off a chain of events that can potentially doom a marriage to failure. How can it be prevented? Well, for starters, both the partners should pay attention to see if their needs are being met and that they are expressing gratitude towards each other. A simple gesture such as a quick peck on the cheek thanking your wife for the dinner can do wonders!
This is often credited as the reason for the failure of marriages. But we are here to tell you that you can move past it. If it was a past indiscretion that happened in a moment of weakness, then the couple should investigate what led to it in the first place. However, no one should have to live with a serial cheater. And if one partner is not for the monogamous life, then it’s okay to move on.
6. Lack Of Intimacy
While dealing with the pressures of everyday life, it is quite common for a couple’s love life to fall by the wayside. However, physical intimacy is an important component of a happy marriage, so if it happens frequently, it’s quite possible that marriage can take a serious hit.
In order to prevent this from happening, the couple should find new ways to spice up their love life. We would even suggest taking time out, just to spend a few intimate moments together.
7. Communication Gap
When a couple finds it difficult to express their needs and grievances to each other, all that does get said acquires a subtext. Both the parties get busy trying to figure out this sub-text is and this creates room for a lot of misunderstandings. These misunderstandings, if not resolved in time, can lead to the disintegration of their marriage.
In the face of this problem, there is no harm in seeking help from a professional, who can give you the tools to articulate better and reconnect with your partner.
Now that you have this ready made manual, you can spot a potential marriage-crumbling problem from a mile away. Just remember that the other person in this equation is your partner, so as long as you don’t treat them as an adversary, everything should work out fine.